She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
