know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He told me they were just razor bumps!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
