it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
