so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
