You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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