Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
