Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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