normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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