idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
