Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
