No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize