No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Your cock deserves a montage
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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