What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
