so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
