that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We are all done wearing pants today
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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