Non-Jews are for practice
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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