we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
