I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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