4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
