is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
