your thong is hanging out like whoa
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize