The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
