Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
