READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I want to walk on stilts...naked
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
