he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
