she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
