direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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