Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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