u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize