bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
