Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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