I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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