I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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