Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
