Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize