no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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