I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
