Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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