Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
worst night to have a conscience
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
