i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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