susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
