my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
