"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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