we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
