Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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