If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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