So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
