I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
should my penis look like a turkey
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
