Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
