all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
