Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do vagina's smell?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
