i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
