i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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