kristin has been a bad kristin
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
