Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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