yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
