Farmville is her only friend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
