we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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