Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
