she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
