that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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