I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
