Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
