Just cropdusted the office
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
