it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
