I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
