he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
