Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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