CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It's just like the Real World with babies
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
