whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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