Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
my poor anus
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
