That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize