I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
