Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I checked into jail on foursquare
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
