This girl is more easily done than said...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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