guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Randomize
