is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hippo gnu deer
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
