She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
how drunk are you?
Several
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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