Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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