wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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