We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
