Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
