Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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