I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
