just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
