When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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