Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
